I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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