i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize