I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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