peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
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