I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I look better un-naked...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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