yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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