You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
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it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Mom said you looked used
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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