i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize