I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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