I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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