Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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