wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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