How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize