Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
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I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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