heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize