What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize