i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize