The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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