Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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