I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize