i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
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The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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