i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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