Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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