I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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