Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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