yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we made out on top of his cat.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
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You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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