found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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