I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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