I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize