Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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