Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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