New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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