I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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