i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Panties = found
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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