Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
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So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
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A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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