Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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