I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize