I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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