Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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