So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize