Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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