ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize