please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
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Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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