Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
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Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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