I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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