I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize