the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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