cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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