How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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