he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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